What is fear and why do we have it? We all feel it when we're in a situation that we don't like. Our heart races, our skin gets goose bumps, and we just want to run. Why is that?
Today I was on a mini-retreat and spent the day contemplating fear and what it means and how it works. I thought about how it holds me back from what I am supposed to accomplish, but mostly I thought about how fear can move me forward.
It makes me acknowledge my weaknesses and dependence on others and on God. How could I develop a relationship with God that is strong and respectful of His almighty power and love, had I not experienced fear and needed to turn to Him?
He lifts me up in my times of fear.
He loves me in my times of fear.
He accepts me in those times of fear.
He lets me be myself in times of fear.
He allows me to learn about Him in my times of fear.
He builds a bridge to Him in my times of fear.
Oh wonderful fear when I allow God to pull me through it.
Fear is part of me and I can't escape it. Lord, Let me know at the deepest level that it is an opportunity to learn and accept my life.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
My Place
When I think about where I belong in this world, I always seem to be considering where I am right now. I worry, is it that I'm supposed to be here, or am I supposed to be somewhere else. How do we ever really know what it is that we are supposed to do with the time that we are given?
As I think of these things, I consider what I did today. I woke up 30 minutes late as usual. (Am I really waking up late if that is what I do every day?) Ate a typical breakfast of peanut butter and bread. I drove to work while sitting in lots of traffic as it rained. I listened to the radio both country and Christian music. Once at work, I began to do all the same things I always do. I answered my emails, made some phone calls, reviewed some contracts, planned some activities for next week, etc....Was that what I was supposed to be doing?
My heart says it doesn't really matter. Although my mind is always wondering if it does. If we are doing a task, and it is a good task, such as earning a living or baking a cake, all of these things are pleasing to God. It only matters what we do while we are doing those tasks that are important. How do we treat others around us? How do we treat the work we are doing? Do we do it the best that we can and use the gifts that God gave us to the fullest? Do we realize all that we do is a prayer of thanksgiving to God?
If we do, then it doesn't matter what we do or where we are. It just matters that we exist and that we honor the moment and the people that are in our midst at that very moment.
So where do I belong anyway? I belong right where I am right at the moment that I'm there!
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
As I think of these things, I consider what I did today. I woke up 30 minutes late as usual. (Am I really waking up late if that is what I do every day?) Ate a typical breakfast of peanut butter and bread. I drove to work while sitting in lots of traffic as it rained. I listened to the radio both country and Christian music. Once at work, I began to do all the same things I always do. I answered my emails, made some phone calls, reviewed some contracts, planned some activities for next week, etc....Was that what I was supposed to be doing?
My heart says it doesn't really matter. Although my mind is always wondering if it does. If we are doing a task, and it is a good task, such as earning a living or baking a cake, all of these things are pleasing to God. It only matters what we do while we are doing those tasks that are important. How do we treat others around us? How do we treat the work we are doing? Do we do it the best that we can and use the gifts that God gave us to the fullest? Do we realize all that we do is a prayer of thanksgiving to God?
If we do, then it doesn't matter what we do or where we are. It just matters that we exist and that we honor the moment and the people that are in our midst at that very moment.
So where do I belong anyway? I belong right where I am right at the moment that I'm there!
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Talent
I really like watching talent shows. Here lately I’ve been watching “So You Think You Can Dance” and “America’s Got Talent”. They are such entertaining shows. The singing and dancing makes me want to get on my feet and clap out loud. I really love the energy, laughter and joy of the performances.
How is it that music and dance makes us feel such peace and energy at the same time? It seems our bodies are geared for the opportunity to tune into something that is tangible, but intangible all at the same time. Our bodies feel the music, but we can’t see the music. We can hear the notes, see the notes on a page, but there is something more to the notes than what we hear with our ears or see on the page.
It is the same with other forms of talent. There is always something more to it than what is on the surface. I think that is why we are drawn to it. It is not about the moment of entertainment, but the moment of finding ourselves in the entertainment. Isn’t it at a movie or a concert that we can feel that we are part of the action? I know even when I watch things I don’t like to watch like a thriller movie, the reason I don’t like to watch it is that I’m drawn into something I don’t want to experience. I can’t detach from it totally.
It’s the same with what we do want to experience. We can’t pull away from it entirely, because we want to be drawn into the moment. We want to feel the pull of the music in our hearts, we want to feel the emotion of the romantic comedy on our minds, we want to feel the message of scripture, and the list goes on and on.
We all know at our deepest level that all of our senses are needed to experience life and hope at the finest level. So mostly we don’t fight it, we just allow ourselves to live in the moment of a song, to live in the moment of a movie, or to live in the moment of conversation with the Lord.
Isn’t that conversation with the Lord, or prayer, what really makes it all make sense? Isn’t everything a prayer? Our conversations with each other, our thoughts about life, our gifts to others through our service as mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, our education, our work, our commitments and our love for each other. All of these things are prayers and a great thank you to the Lord. He loves us so very much. He made everything that we do an opportunity for pray. Lord, I pray that I never stop realizing the gifts of my life and that I continue to open my heart to your love.
I know that if I continue to watch the talents of others, including watching “So You Think You Can Dance, and “America’s Got Talent”, that I will through prayer begin to realize all of the talents that the Lord has given me to share with this world.
Peace to all of you,
Eileen
How is it that music and dance makes us feel such peace and energy at the same time? It seems our bodies are geared for the opportunity to tune into something that is tangible, but intangible all at the same time. Our bodies feel the music, but we can’t see the music. We can hear the notes, see the notes on a page, but there is something more to the notes than what we hear with our ears or see on the page.
It is the same with other forms of talent. There is always something more to it than what is on the surface. I think that is why we are drawn to it. It is not about the moment of entertainment, but the moment of finding ourselves in the entertainment. Isn’t it at a movie or a concert that we can feel that we are part of the action? I know even when I watch things I don’t like to watch like a thriller movie, the reason I don’t like to watch it is that I’m drawn into something I don’t want to experience. I can’t detach from it totally.
It’s the same with what we do want to experience. We can’t pull away from it entirely, because we want to be drawn into the moment. We want to feel the pull of the music in our hearts, we want to feel the emotion of the romantic comedy on our minds, we want to feel the message of scripture, and the list goes on and on.
We all know at our deepest level that all of our senses are needed to experience life and hope at the finest level. So mostly we don’t fight it, we just allow ourselves to live in the moment of a song, to live in the moment of a movie, or to live in the moment of conversation with the Lord.
Isn’t that conversation with the Lord, or prayer, what really makes it all make sense? Isn’t everything a prayer? Our conversations with each other, our thoughts about life, our gifts to others through our service as mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, our education, our work, our commitments and our love for each other. All of these things are prayers and a great thank you to the Lord. He loves us so very much. He made everything that we do an opportunity for pray. Lord, I pray that I never stop realizing the gifts of my life and that I continue to open my heart to your love.
I know that if I continue to watch the talents of others, including watching “So You Think You Can Dance, and “America’s Got Talent”, that I will through prayer begin to realize all of the talents that the Lord has given me to share with this world.
Peace to all of you,
Eileen
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Today
How is that I start the each weekday the same, but it ends up so different? Every day I pretend that I'm going to wake up at 6:15 a.m. I religiously set my alarm for that time, but I never actually get out of bed until 6:45 a.m. The routine of it makes me laugh as I write this now.
Every weekday, I know that I need to be at work at the same time, but I almost never get there on time. What is it that makes me not want to get out of the bed? My initial thought is how good it feels to sleep, but then I remember that I never really want to go to bed. In the evening, I am enjoying visiting with my family, watching a TV show or looking on the internet. When I'm doing those things I'm almost never thinking about how good it feels to sleep.
On a broader level, it makes me I think of how I resist change. Maybe on a very simple level that is what I'm doing each an every day. That's makes me wonder why I am resisting change? Or is that really the answer anyway? I don't know. What I'm wondering now is if other's are that way? Or is it just me?
Now I'm thinking about what other things are hidden in our minds? What things are we all living that no one knows about us? What are our secrets and how do they impact how we interact with the world?
My secrets are less and less as I mature, but not completely non-existent. I am so much more comfortable in my skin. It's funny how the more wrinkles I get, the happier I am. Isn't it funny that on the surface society teaches us that youthfulness is the key to happiness, but for me it has been so clearly the opposite?
Maybe each day isn't really different at all? It's really just a series of choices that lead us to happiness or not. The more I allow truth and acceptance to guide my choices each day, the more I am fulfilled and feel in tune with God's will in my life. That is what truly leads me to happiness. How about you?
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Every weekday, I know that I need to be at work at the same time, but I almost never get there on time. What is it that makes me not want to get out of the bed? My initial thought is how good it feels to sleep, but then I remember that I never really want to go to bed. In the evening, I am enjoying visiting with my family, watching a TV show or looking on the internet. When I'm doing those things I'm almost never thinking about how good it feels to sleep.
On a broader level, it makes me I think of how I resist change. Maybe on a very simple level that is what I'm doing each an every day. That's makes me wonder why I am resisting change? Or is that really the answer anyway? I don't know. What I'm wondering now is if other's are that way? Or is it just me?
Now I'm thinking about what other things are hidden in our minds? What things are we all living that no one knows about us? What are our secrets and how do they impact how we interact with the world?
My secrets are less and less as I mature, but not completely non-existent. I am so much more comfortable in my skin. It's funny how the more wrinkles I get, the happier I am. Isn't it funny that on the surface society teaches us that youthfulness is the key to happiness, but for me it has been so clearly the opposite?
Maybe each day isn't really different at all? It's really just a series of choices that lead us to happiness or not. The more I allow truth and acceptance to guide my choices each day, the more I am fulfilled and feel in tune with God's will in my life. That is what truly leads me to happiness. How about you?
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Monday, September 7, 2009
Snickers
I just finished eating a candy bar It was a Snicker’s bar. The creamy texture of the chocolate is soooo very good, but is even better along side the crunchiness of the peanuts and the stickiness of the caramel. Wow, what a good combination of flavors and textures.
On the surface it seems like such a simple thing to enjoy, but surely there is something more to it than just the experience. How did the flavors come to be? Who was the person that first thought to combine the flavors? Who was the person that first thought to create each of the flavors? Who was the person that first found the raw ingredients that go into creating the flavors? How many years did it take for the flavors to be discovered and then to be combined to create an item that we believe to be so simple? In fact, so simple in our world that we can go the any store along the road and buy one for less than a dollar.
How did the value of such an item become so small when you think of all the time and energy that went into creating such a treat? How is this less valuable than a diamond? How is this less valuable than a gallon of gasoline?
What makes something valuable anyway? Isn’t it just perception? What makes us perceive the song of a certain singer to be more valuable than another singer such that the individual becomes a superstar, but another does not? Isn’t it the combination of the things that make something more interesting than the individual parts, but not taking away from the value of the individual parts?
That thought blows my mind when I think of how that applies to life and the people we meet. Aren’t we all better for having met others in our life, having experienced our struggles and our joys, and having allowed ourselves to take the time to recognize the combination of those things in our life?
Aren’t we all better for having enjoyed a Snicker’s bar every now and then? The value surpasses anything I can think of right now!!!!!
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
On the surface it seems like such a simple thing to enjoy, but surely there is something more to it than just the experience. How did the flavors come to be? Who was the person that first thought to combine the flavors? Who was the person that first thought to create each of the flavors? Who was the person that first found the raw ingredients that go into creating the flavors? How many years did it take for the flavors to be discovered and then to be combined to create an item that we believe to be so simple? In fact, so simple in our world that we can go the any store along the road and buy one for less than a dollar.
How did the value of such an item become so small when you think of all the time and energy that went into creating such a treat? How is this less valuable than a diamond? How is this less valuable than a gallon of gasoline?
What makes something valuable anyway? Isn’t it just perception? What makes us perceive the song of a certain singer to be more valuable than another singer such that the individual becomes a superstar, but another does not? Isn’t it the combination of the things that make something more interesting than the individual parts, but not taking away from the value of the individual parts?
That thought blows my mind when I think of how that applies to life and the people we meet. Aren’t we all better for having met others in our life, having experienced our struggles and our joys, and having allowed ourselves to take the time to recognize the combination of those things in our life?
Aren’t we all better for having enjoyed a Snicker’s bar every now and then? The value surpasses anything I can think of right now!!!!!
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Thursday, September 3, 2009
What's Up
Wow, what a day! I was so busy and so consumed with all that had to be done. I was able to add to the tasks of the day by being open to the life that was around me. I saw so many people smile at the opportunity to live life. What joy I saw in people that finally had a story to tell. What simple stories they were, but so profound in that the decision to share was awesome. I learned about a guy that needed to buy a new car. I learned that a woman I work with is planning a trip to Georgia, and I learned one woman I work with is Catholic, and she is searching for a connection to life.
All of these people are trying to connect to something. All are trying to live the life that was given to them by God. How do I live that connection every day? Sometimes I'm good at it and I am full of life, but sometimes I am selfish and only think of myself. How does that occur? Shouldn't we by God's gift to us be filled with the desire to serve and to think of everyone but ourselves? But somehow it always turns around to me?
What I wonder about is whether it really can be about others if it isn't about us? Aren't the others supposed to be concerned about us? So isn't it really all about me anyway? Does that even make any sense?
What does make sense is that if we are all concerned about others then the "me" concern fades away because our needs are filled. This is so true most especially in marriage. When I think about the gift that the man brings to the marriage, it overwhelms me. Jeff is called to love me like Christ loves the Church! Wow, what a tall order that is for him. When you think about it that means he is called to die for me! What does that really mean?
I like to think of this concept in the form of a story. Think about a mother and a father in the hospital room with a child that is near death and a decision needs to be made about the life of the child. The decision needs to be made about whether to pull the plug to allow the life of the child to be maintained on its own or to expire on its own. There is not a mother in the world that I know of that wants to make that decision. In a traditional marriage, the mother has the gift of the husband to take the role as the head of the household to make the decision. He is the ultimate provider in that he steps forward to make the decision by allowing God to make the decision through him. He allows his wife, the mother, to be freed from that decision. What a gift he has given to his wife and family! He took the difficult road and died to himself in order to give life to those he loves the most. How Christ-like the husband and father is in this story. Isn't that about the others in his family, but still about him?
He doesn't need a certain type of wife to be this type of leader. He can be married to the best stay at home mom in the world or the most committed mother who works outside of the home and still be the leader by showing his strength at moments like these.
What's up is that this world is made of so many good men like this and we sometimes forget to build them up. I take my hat off to all the men that lead like Christ - men that lead through compassion and service rather than through recognition and position.
That's what's up in my world. A man that loves me for who I am, and a man that is strong at all times, but with a heart as big as the world that let's me be and continue to grow into a woman that God can use for so many things. That’s what I see in the story of the people around me. Great men that are such an awesome gift from God.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Eileen
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