I look outside and see so many trees. Some are so small, but so twisted and unapproachable. Some are large, but seem to be nothing to be concerned about. My mind keeps wondering what it is about each of the trees that makes me describe it in that particular way.
What is it about the small tree that makes it unapproachable? It seems that my life has given me the gifts that I need to approach both of the trees with confidence, but the small one seems to always give me pause. The big one that seems to give so many others pause is the easy one for me.
That thought is so confusing to me. Certainly I can approach the day to day with such ease. What is it that makes me not want to approach the small tree? Is it the twisted branches? Is it the location of the tree? Is it the desire to stay with what is familiar?
I am comfortable approaching the big tree. I know the rules. I know what is expected. I can plan my day around the big tree. I can always approach it in the same manner and get the same result, and to many the big result is the important result. I am good at approaching the big tree. I like being good at something.
It seems though that my mind is always turning toward the small tree and its twisted branches. I want the challenge, but seem to be avoiding it. Why is that? It is so inviting and so interesting. It is all that is not familiar. It is so small. It requires attention to great detail to truly understand it. The detail is what makes it different from the big tree.
When I look at the big tree I can only see the tree not the branches or the roots or the leaves. I can’t get close enough to it to truly become interested in the details. I can only see the big project, not the people that make up the project.
How do I get caught in the forest and not see the trees? Isn’t it that people are always chastised for not being able to see the forest for seeing the trees? It seems that seeing the trees is the real purpose.
I guess I just climbed the tree I never wanted to climbed before.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Friday, December 25, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
My Angel
I have so many decisions to make in life and sometimes the decision itself seems to take on a life of its own. It seems to dominate the day rather than letting the life I have dominate the day. I seem to think that I have to do it all alone. That I am alone. I know that not to be true in my intellect, but sometimes my heart doesn't believe the truth that exists. I know that I have a husband, children, mother and other family that are there for me in my life. However, I keep thinking of the times when I am struggling on the interior and don't share the struggle with the world.
Who is there for me in those moments to make sure I'm not alone? Today, I am overwhelmed with the answer. The obvious answer is God, and I know that He is always there, but today I seem to most certainly feel the prescense of my guardian angel. How often do I think of my guardian angel? Not very often it seems, but when I do I feel so protected and at peace. Why don't I reflect on this more often? It seems that I should.
I long ago named my guardian angel, but have forgotten the name as I seem to keep this part of my existance tucked away in my mind. I think I will again name my guardian angel. His name shall be Peter. I think of this name, because I think of Peter as a rock, as the foundation of the church. I know that each of us has a piece of the church inside and needs the strength of Peter to keep moving in the right direction. The path to holiness is through accepting the rocks in my life and in allowing the rock of my heart to be molded and chipped into the perfection of myself that God wants for me.
God so lovingly created an angel just to watch over me. I will begin to pray for my angel in thanksgiving for all the quiet service provided during the years of my life. I pray that my decision to open my heart again to the guardian angel in my life takes on a life of its own. I pray that the love of my guardian angel dominates my thoughts today so that I never forget to thank God for my guardian angel and live my life knowing that God is there for me in ways that I don't even know or remember. I pray the stone of my life is open to His call and His love.
Thank you God for another birthday and another day to be in communion with you and my guardian angel.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Who is there for me in those moments to make sure I'm not alone? Today, I am overwhelmed with the answer. The obvious answer is God, and I know that He is always there, but today I seem to most certainly feel the prescense of my guardian angel. How often do I think of my guardian angel? Not very often it seems, but when I do I feel so protected and at peace. Why don't I reflect on this more often? It seems that I should.
I long ago named my guardian angel, but have forgotten the name as I seem to keep this part of my existance tucked away in my mind. I think I will again name my guardian angel. His name shall be Peter. I think of this name, because I think of Peter as a rock, as the foundation of the church. I know that each of us has a piece of the church inside and needs the strength of Peter to keep moving in the right direction. The path to holiness is through accepting the rocks in my life and in allowing the rock of my heart to be molded and chipped into the perfection of myself that God wants for me.
God so lovingly created an angel just to watch over me. I will begin to pray for my angel in thanksgiving for all the quiet service provided during the years of my life. I pray that my decision to open my heart again to the guardian angel in my life takes on a life of its own. I pray that the love of my guardian angel dominates my thoughts today so that I never forget to thank God for my guardian angel and live my life knowing that God is there for me in ways that I don't even know or remember. I pray the stone of my life is open to His call and His love.
Thank you God for another birthday and another day to be in communion with you and my guardian angel.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
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