Forgiveness is such a strong emotion. It leads us down so many paths. It leads me away from good and it leads me to good. It can be granted and it can be withheld. It can be ignored and it can be acknowledged. It is powerful and it is nothing.
I always wonder how many times I let forgiveness rule my life. I think of the times that I spend in my life not fully experiencing it because I was holding on to some hurt in my life that should be released through forgiveness. I think of the times that I’ve burdened someone by not accepting forgiveness or mostly by not even thinking that I needed to be forgiven for some action that hurt another.
Oh how many times I’ve been so caught up in myself that I don’t even see the other person’s need. How does that happen? There is always another perspective to the reality I am living. There is always someone else’s reality. The reality always consists of how the situation affected the other and how I don’t see that reality because I am clouded by the reality I am experiencing.
Am I doing it right now? Am I writing about the reality of my thoughts without acknowledging the thoughts of those reading this blog? Hopefully not, but I know in my intellect that I can only acknowledge that the thoughts of others exist, but know that I can’t truly consider the thoughts as I can’t ever really know them in total because I can’t experience them in the truest form. The thoughts can only be fully experienced by the one thinking the thoughts.
How does that relate to forgiveness? Forgiveness is taken in the perspective of the others participating in the forgiveness. My thoughts play a role in that forgiveness. Forgiveness can rule one’s life for good or bad. Forgiveness takes action on my part in acknowledging I need to give it and I need to accept it. Forgiveness if withheld or blocked leads me away from good and forgiveness if accepted and given leads me toward good.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Celebrate
I sit here staring at the floor and the TV stand and wonder what the purpose of each is in this day that I am experiencing. Both depend on each other, and the one can’t have purpose without the other. The stand is so functional in its purpose to hold up the television, but doesn’t the floor have the same purpose?
The floor is the beginning of the house. It defines the shape, or the form, of the house. The house can’t be what it is without the foundation. However, the foundation has no purpose unless the floor, the walls, and the TV stand, for that matter, don’t exist.
Isn’t that true of everything? Nothing exists without the other that exists because or around the other items that support it or enhance it. That is so true of our lives. We can’t believe in or know the truth of anything unless we explore and at least begin to look to the form of something.
A triangle that we know on a piece of paper is but the form of some perfect triangle created by God, or more clearly the foundation of some triangle that exists to support all triangles to follow. For that matter, the triangle can’t exist unless the line exists that supports each side of the triangle. Each side without the other is only a portion of the potential or the form of what it can be when combined with the other portions or potentials of the other lines.
In our world we take the forms that support the reality of our material representation of our world of existence and use them as a mirror to the perfect form presented to us by our loving God. We do that with the love that we experience in our families. Our love is but the material reality of the true form of love presented to each one of us by God.
Our family love is intense, special and deep, but it is only an experience of the love that we can know through the love of God. This love is only the foundation that we can build upon to understand the love that God has for each and every one of us as individuals and in community. It is but a foreshadowing of the love that God has for us, and is most humanly perfected in the marital love of a man and woman that results in creation.
God must love us so much by trusting us to create life with an eternal soul. That is something to celebrate.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
The floor is the beginning of the house. It defines the shape, or the form, of the house. The house can’t be what it is without the foundation. However, the foundation has no purpose unless the floor, the walls, and the TV stand, for that matter, don’t exist.
Isn’t that true of everything? Nothing exists without the other that exists because or around the other items that support it or enhance it. That is so true of our lives. We can’t believe in or know the truth of anything unless we explore and at least begin to look to the form of something.
A triangle that we know on a piece of paper is but the form of some perfect triangle created by God, or more clearly the foundation of some triangle that exists to support all triangles to follow. For that matter, the triangle can’t exist unless the line exists that supports each side of the triangle. Each side without the other is only a portion of the potential or the form of what it can be when combined with the other portions or potentials of the other lines.
In our world we take the forms that support the reality of our material representation of our world of existence and use them as a mirror to the perfect form presented to us by our loving God. We do that with the love that we experience in our families. Our love is but the material reality of the true form of love presented to each one of us by God.
Our family love is intense, special and deep, but it is only an experience of the love that we can know through the love of God. This love is only the foundation that we can build upon to understand the love that God has for each and every one of us as individuals and in community. It is but a foreshadowing of the love that God has for us, and is most humanly perfected in the marital love of a man and woman that results in creation.
God must love us so much by trusting us to create life with an eternal soul. That is something to celebrate.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Monday, October 26, 2009
One Day at A Time
I have been contemplating what causes stress in my life, and mostly it emerges when I don’t feel like I have things under control. What does “under control” really mean? Do I ever really have things under control anyway?
I can plan a personal project like hosting a party or a business matter like facilitating a meeting or gathering data to analyze the cash flow of a project, and while I can list things out and try to anticipate the amount of time it will require, it never seems to work out the way I planned. Sometimes it takes less time, but often it takes more time than expected.
Sometimes I feel I must do something at a certain time and day, but when things don’t turn out that way it doesn’t even seem to matter. What comes to mind when I consider this is the “need” to go to the grocery store. It seems I have it on my to do list for the day because I am out of everything, but then I don’t get the chance to go and somehow I always seem to pull a rabbit out of the hat and have something to make a nice meal at the end of the day.
So it seems I really didn’t need to go to the grocery store after all, but likely wanted to go because I was out of some favorite thing that I like to have on hand such as extra sharp cheddar cheese (Yum!). How often do we confuse wants with needs and plans as must follow agendas when sometimes the best things in life come without plans and when we focus less on our wants and more on what is around us already.
I remember so many times when I was at the bottom of the pantry, and didn’t have time (or didn’t want to make the time) to go to the grocery and the I fixed Blue Runner red beans with rice and a vegetable on the side. This is now one of my family’s favorite meals. It is such a simple and quick meal to fix and now has come to symbolize comfort food in my home.
I pray ….
That I allow plans to exist, but not dictate,
That I allow life to happen instead of worrying about what will happen next,
That I allow my needs to be the focus rather than my wants,
That I can escape the stress by yielding to rather than trying to control,
And that I always live each day with a sense of joy.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
I can plan a personal project like hosting a party or a business matter like facilitating a meeting or gathering data to analyze the cash flow of a project, and while I can list things out and try to anticipate the amount of time it will require, it never seems to work out the way I planned. Sometimes it takes less time, but often it takes more time than expected.
Sometimes I feel I must do something at a certain time and day, but when things don’t turn out that way it doesn’t even seem to matter. What comes to mind when I consider this is the “need” to go to the grocery store. It seems I have it on my to do list for the day because I am out of everything, but then I don’t get the chance to go and somehow I always seem to pull a rabbit out of the hat and have something to make a nice meal at the end of the day.
So it seems I really didn’t need to go to the grocery store after all, but likely wanted to go because I was out of some favorite thing that I like to have on hand such as extra sharp cheddar cheese (Yum!). How often do we confuse wants with needs and plans as must follow agendas when sometimes the best things in life come without plans and when we focus less on our wants and more on what is around us already.
I remember so many times when I was at the bottom of the pantry, and didn’t have time (or didn’t want to make the time) to go to the grocery and the I fixed Blue Runner red beans with rice and a vegetable on the side. This is now one of my family’s favorite meals. It is such a simple and quick meal to fix and now has come to symbolize comfort food in my home.
I pray ….
That I allow plans to exist, but not dictate,
That I allow life to happen instead of worrying about what will happen next,
That I allow my needs to be the focus rather than my wants,
That I can escape the stress by yielding to rather than trying to control,
And that I always live each day with a sense of joy.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
One Day at a Time
I have been contemplating what causes stress in my life, and mostly it emerges when I don’t feel like I have things under control. What does “under control” really mean? Do I ever really have things under control anyway?
I can plan a personal project like hosting a party or a business matter like facilitating a meeting or gathering data to analyze the cash flow of a project, and while I can list things out and try to anticipate the amount of time it will require, it never seems to work out the way I planned. Sometimes it takes less time, but often it takes more time than expected.
Sometimes I feel I must do something at a certain time and day, but when things don’t turn out that way it doesn’t even seem to matter. What comes to mind when I consider this is the “need” to go to the grocery store. It seems I have it on my to do list for the day because I am out of everything, but then I don’t get the chance to go and somehow I always seem to pull a rabbit out of the hat and have something to make a nice meal at the end of the day.
So it seems I really didn’t need to go to the grocery store after all, but likely wanted to go because I was out of some favorite thing that I like to have on hand such as extra sharp cheddar cheese (Yum!). How often do we confuse wants with needs and plans as must follow agendas when sometimes the best things in life come without plans and when we focus less on our wants and more on what is around us already.
I remember so many times when I was at the bottom of the pantry one day, and didn’t have time (or didn’t want to make the time) to go to the grocery and the I fixed Blue Runner red beans with rice and a vegetable on the side. This is now one of my family’s favorite meals. It is such a simple and quick meal to fix and now has come to symbolize comfort food in my home.
I pray ….
That I allow plans to exist, but not dictate,
That I allow life to happen instead of worrying about what will happen next,
That I allow my needs to be the focus rather than my wants,
That I can escape the stress by yielding to rather than trying to control,
And that I always live each day with a sense of joy.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
I can plan a personal project like hosting a party or a business matter like facilitating a meeting or gathering data to analyze the cash flow of a project, and while I can list things out and try to anticipate the amount of time it will require, it never seems to work out the way I planned. Sometimes it takes less time, but often it takes more time than expected.
Sometimes I feel I must do something at a certain time and day, but when things don’t turn out that way it doesn’t even seem to matter. What comes to mind when I consider this is the “need” to go to the grocery store. It seems I have it on my to do list for the day because I am out of everything, but then I don’t get the chance to go and somehow I always seem to pull a rabbit out of the hat and have something to make a nice meal at the end of the day.
So it seems I really didn’t need to go to the grocery store after all, but likely wanted to go because I was out of some favorite thing that I like to have on hand such as extra sharp cheddar cheese (Yum!). How often do we confuse wants with needs and plans as must follow agendas when sometimes the best things in life come without plans and when we focus less on our wants and more on what is around us already.
I remember so many times when I was at the bottom of the pantry one day, and didn’t have time (or didn’t want to make the time) to go to the grocery and the I fixed Blue Runner red beans with rice and a vegetable on the side. This is now one of my family’s favorite meals. It is such a simple and quick meal to fix and now has come to symbolize comfort food in my home.
I pray ….
That I allow plans to exist, but not dictate,
That I allow life to happen instead of worrying about what will happen next,
That I allow my needs to be the focus rather than my wants,
That I can escape the stress by yielding to rather than trying to control,
And that I always live each day with a sense of joy.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Rose
I cut some roses today, and that always makes me smile. The rose is such a perfect example of complexity and simplicity. The rose is always the same but somehow always different. For me the rose always draws me in to its presence. I so love the smell. I can’t walk away.
The smell of a rose inspires so many things. It is at its core, the symbol of love. Roses are always included in the celebration of love. I can’t even think of Valentine’s Day without thinking of a bouquet of a dozen red roses. I can’t even imagine a florist shop without several dozen roses in the cooler ready to be arranged in a special way for some special woman.
This makes me think of the difference in the roles of men and women. Isn’t it the man that generally presents the bouquet of roses to the women? And isn’t it a woman that generally arranges the bouquet to sell to the man to present to the woman? What an awesome picture that paints in my mind.
The picture is of the dance between a man and a woman in love. The man wants to honor the woman’s beauty by presenting her with something as beautiful as a rose. It is generally not just one rose but many to show his expression of the vastness of her beauty and of his love for her, but he depends on a woman to interpret that love so that the arrangement can perfectly express his love for the woman that he will give the flowers to as a gift.
Isn’t this the dance of life? Isn’t this what dance is? I can dance alone, but it is at its best when done with Jeff. I need is presence to fully accept the movement of the music. Something is missing if I don’t allow myself to be part of his movement.
I need every other person in my life to fully express myself. I need the dance and the connection to others and to nature to be fully complete. I need to smile. I need to understand the complexity and simplicity of the moment in order to move to the next moment. I can’t truly be in that moment without the love that I have with Jeff.
Have I forgotten that this blog is about a rose? Now that I think of it, I have not. Life cannot be without the smells, beauty and thorns of the life which is exactly like a rose. Roses aren’t beautiful unless the smell draws you into the beauty, and the rose isn’t perfect unless the thorns protect and enhance that beauty. I feel that way too. I am who I am through the presence of me that draws others in, but it is the beauty that is developed through the thorns of my life that make me complete and that keep me humble and truly a good person that is connected to all of the people in my circle and beyond.
Thank you God for the roses in my backyard and for the people in my life that are all such individual, beautiful roses that continue to draw me in to know that person and for the appreciation of each and every petal and thorn that every one of us accepts in our lives.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
The smell of a rose inspires so many things. It is at its core, the symbol of love. Roses are always included in the celebration of love. I can’t even think of Valentine’s Day without thinking of a bouquet of a dozen red roses. I can’t even imagine a florist shop without several dozen roses in the cooler ready to be arranged in a special way for some special woman.
This makes me think of the difference in the roles of men and women. Isn’t it the man that generally presents the bouquet of roses to the women? And isn’t it a woman that generally arranges the bouquet to sell to the man to present to the woman? What an awesome picture that paints in my mind.
The picture is of the dance between a man and a woman in love. The man wants to honor the woman’s beauty by presenting her with something as beautiful as a rose. It is generally not just one rose but many to show his expression of the vastness of her beauty and of his love for her, but he depends on a woman to interpret that love so that the arrangement can perfectly express his love for the woman that he will give the flowers to as a gift.
Isn’t this the dance of life? Isn’t this what dance is? I can dance alone, but it is at its best when done with Jeff. I need is presence to fully accept the movement of the music. Something is missing if I don’t allow myself to be part of his movement.
I need every other person in my life to fully express myself. I need the dance and the connection to others and to nature to be fully complete. I need to smile. I need to understand the complexity and simplicity of the moment in order to move to the next moment. I can’t truly be in that moment without the love that I have with Jeff.
Have I forgotten that this blog is about a rose? Now that I think of it, I have not. Life cannot be without the smells, beauty and thorns of the life which is exactly like a rose. Roses aren’t beautiful unless the smell draws you into the beauty, and the rose isn’t perfect unless the thorns protect and enhance that beauty. I feel that way too. I am who I am through the presence of me that draws others in, but it is the beauty that is developed through the thorns of my life that make me complete and that keep me humble and truly a good person that is connected to all of the people in my circle and beyond.
Thank you God for the roses in my backyard and for the people in my life that are all such individual, beautiful roses that continue to draw me in to know that person and for the appreciation of each and every petal and thorn that every one of us accepts in our lives.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Candles
Oh how I love a candle and hate a candle. The beauty of the flame is so enticing and so powerful. I can’t seem to walk away from a candle in a store. A candle always smells so good and is generally so powerful. The colors are vibrant and the scents always draw me into the moment.
I was looking at a candle today and it was so very interesting. The candle was a big thick candle with lots of texture on the outside and the scent was inviting and inviting. It had the scent of the fall and of family. It reminded me of the scents of preparing for Thanksgiving. There was the scent of cinnamon and pumpkin mixed at just the right levels.
The scent draws me in every time. I always wonder if it is the scent or the events surrounding the scent that draw me in to the candle. The initial reaction is the scent, but when I allow the scent to take over memories flow through my mind that captivate me and require me to stay in the moment surrounding the memory.
The interesting thing is that I am so very allergic to the scent of candles. My intellect tells me to stay away, but my heart draws me in every time. How that is true in so many instances in my life.
What is it that draws me to something, but also turns me away from it? It seems the surface usually draws me in. Isn’t that why my focus is on the outside, the part of my life that others see instead of what really matters, the inside? The outside of me isn’t what is important. The scent of me is what is important. The scent comes from the inside. The surface is only the magnet.
I can only be a true Christian if the outside and the inside are both about the truth and balance each other like a candle. Even if I want to turn away, I can’t. The candle only smells good if the scent matches the truth or character of the candle. I love it when that matches up. I only turn away from the candle when the scent is too strong and it doesn’t match the shape or character of the candle. However, I can’t ignore the candle no matter the scent.
As I continue to dive into my thoughts, it seems that everything leads to the truth no matter the subject. Food leads to truth along with colors and kitchens and dance and art and children and grandchildren and even candles.
I pray I continue to see the truth in everything.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
I was looking at a candle today and it was so very interesting. The candle was a big thick candle with lots of texture on the outside and the scent was inviting and inviting. It had the scent of the fall and of family. It reminded me of the scents of preparing for Thanksgiving. There was the scent of cinnamon and pumpkin mixed at just the right levels.
The scent draws me in every time. I always wonder if it is the scent or the events surrounding the scent that draw me in to the candle. The initial reaction is the scent, but when I allow the scent to take over memories flow through my mind that captivate me and require me to stay in the moment surrounding the memory.
The interesting thing is that I am so very allergic to the scent of candles. My intellect tells me to stay away, but my heart draws me in every time. How that is true in so many instances in my life.
What is it that draws me to something, but also turns me away from it? It seems the surface usually draws me in. Isn’t that why my focus is on the outside, the part of my life that others see instead of what really matters, the inside? The outside of me isn’t what is important. The scent of me is what is important. The scent comes from the inside. The surface is only the magnet.
I can only be a true Christian if the outside and the inside are both about the truth and balance each other like a candle. Even if I want to turn away, I can’t. The candle only smells good if the scent matches the truth or character of the candle. I love it when that matches up. I only turn away from the candle when the scent is too strong and it doesn’t match the shape or character of the candle. However, I can’t ignore the candle no matter the scent.
As I continue to dive into my thoughts, it seems that everything leads to the truth no matter the subject. Food leads to truth along with colors and kitchens and dance and art and children and grandchildren and even candles.
I pray I continue to see the truth in everything.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Red
I am sitting here in my red kitchen. I’ve had 4 houses and several apartments in my 22 years of marriage to Jeff, and I’ve had a red kitchen in each of these homes. Red to me is such a wonderful color. It is so full of life and energy which are constants for me in my kitchen. Isn’t color and food the heart of life? Color is in everything. It is in the clouds I look at every day, it is in the food I eat, it is in the clothes that I wear and in the television I watch.
I love to enjoy the colors of food most especially. The color of a yellow or red pepper is so crisp and complete. It looks so fresh that it pulls me in every time. I buy the pepper, and then plan the meal around it. I can’t wait to see the pop of color on the plate. The food always tastes better when the color is right. It makes my day when all of the color and flavors line up so beautifully.
I also love the taste and smell of strawberries. The sweetness draws me in every time. But I’ll be honest for a lot of years I wouldn’t eat strawberries because of the texture of the skin. That is so interesting. I avoided something so wonderful and sweet because of the outside. Oh, how often does that manifest itself in my life!
Subdivisions seem to make this all too real but in reverse. On the surface, my life is so the same as all of my neighbors. I have what they have, and they have what I have. All of us have a nice home, two or three cars, a dog or cat or two, nice clothes and dinner every night. But I always wonder what is different. What goes on inside of these houses that are different? I know each family has a different dynamic and a different personality, but it seems we don’t make that the focus of our external world. It seems at least to me that the focus is always on being the same.
What does this all have to do with my red kitchen? I guess it is that I want my home, my heart, to be the same no matter where I am, but at the same time I want to show some of that personality that others may not see on the surface of me. What is it in me that wants the kitchen to be so bold and to me so inviting? I so want people to be drawn to it as it is the heart of my home. It is the heart of life as it is where the food for my family is stored and served.
The heart of Jesus is the heart of life and it is red with the blood of Christ and it is also where the food for His family is stored and served. It is the life that draws us together every day. Is that why I painted my kitchen red? I hope so, but I never thought of it in that way before. Isn’t it life, energy and food that give us all purpose? The life and blood of Christ is the answer that draws me in every time, and now I know that my kitchen reminds me of that reality even when I don’t realize it.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
I love to enjoy the colors of food most especially. The color of a yellow or red pepper is so crisp and complete. It looks so fresh that it pulls me in every time. I buy the pepper, and then plan the meal around it. I can’t wait to see the pop of color on the plate. The food always tastes better when the color is right. It makes my day when all of the color and flavors line up so beautifully.
I also love the taste and smell of strawberries. The sweetness draws me in every time. But I’ll be honest for a lot of years I wouldn’t eat strawberries because of the texture of the skin. That is so interesting. I avoided something so wonderful and sweet because of the outside. Oh, how often does that manifest itself in my life!
Subdivisions seem to make this all too real but in reverse. On the surface, my life is so the same as all of my neighbors. I have what they have, and they have what I have. All of us have a nice home, two or three cars, a dog or cat or two, nice clothes and dinner every night. But I always wonder what is different. What goes on inside of these houses that are different? I know each family has a different dynamic and a different personality, but it seems we don’t make that the focus of our external world. It seems at least to me that the focus is always on being the same.
What does this all have to do with my red kitchen? I guess it is that I want my home, my heart, to be the same no matter where I am, but at the same time I want to show some of that personality that others may not see on the surface of me. What is it in me that wants the kitchen to be so bold and to me so inviting? I so want people to be drawn to it as it is the heart of my home. It is the heart of life as it is where the food for my family is stored and served.
The heart of Jesus is the heart of life and it is red with the blood of Christ and it is also where the food for His family is stored and served. It is the life that draws us together every day. Is that why I painted my kitchen red? I hope so, but I never thought of it in that way before. Isn’t it life, energy and food that give us all purpose? The life and blood of Christ is the answer that draws me in every time, and now I know that my kitchen reminds me of that reality even when I don’t realize it.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
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