Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Yield
When I see a yield sign it makes me consider if I stop or if I should go. What is it that yield really means? When I consider this word, my mind clouds with thoughts…. I want to go because from what I can see around me there is nothing that will harm me, but something inside says that sign is there for some reason.
How many times do I look around me and make decisions based only on what I can see. Or in another words, I make decisions based on what I think I can control around me. What really makes life interesting is when I decide to not follow the path of life that is easy to define or easy to understand, and I just let it go!
In contrast to making decisions based on what I can see, or yielding to the minute, hour or day, has led me to meet so many interesting people and to experience so many moments of clarity. How many times I’ve thought life would turn out to be a certain way, but the way that it turned out surpassed anything I’d every imagined.
My mind now fills with thoughts of goals I set for myself. For example, I thought by the time that I’d achieved X (You name the X), I’d be happy. But has that ever happened? I set the goal to get my master’s degree before I was 40, and I achieved that goal, but did it really impact my happiness? Not really, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not happy. What it did was teach me how to think more clearly by allowing myself to be mentored by someone that had already been along the path I decided to follow. Isn’t that was it means to yield?
Isn’t that what life is about? Learning from those that have come before us? Isn’t that what Christ taught us to do by yielding to the Father’s will and teaching us?
I’m so happy to have known the people that mentored me to learn what I know, but really it was mentoring me to yield.
Should I stop or should I go? I think both.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday's
Monday’s are always a challenge. For me, it is a period of change that comes every week, but is somehow also filled with so much routine.
It is day of change. I change from the relaxing spirit of setting my own schedule to the schedule imposed by commitments from work and school.
Monday’s are now, for many, considered the first day of the week. Don’t we all seem to refer to Monday’s as the start of a new week? When did that happen in the world? Monday’s begin differently for me as it is the first day of the week that I need to set an alarm, pack a lunch, or have to check my email.
Even those that don’t have the same commitments that I have to the office, probably have routines that change because it is Monday. It is a change from the rest of Sunday into a day when doctor’s offices are open, insurance agents and financial counselors will set appointments to meet with us, and the list goes on and on…..
What is it about the change and routine of life that we are to learn?
Routine is such a blessing to me as sometimes I just can’t take another minute of not knowing what to expect, but where I mess up is in getting caught up in the desire to control my situation. For me, it is in changing that I’ve learned the most. With that said, I’ve needed the routine of school and of life, to gain the confidence and wisdom to handle the change.
Interesting, how it is all connected.
Wow, I really love Monday’s.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
It is day of change. I change from the relaxing spirit of setting my own schedule to the schedule imposed by commitments from work and school.
Monday’s are now, for many, considered the first day of the week. Don’t we all seem to refer to Monday’s as the start of a new week? When did that happen in the world? Monday’s begin differently for me as it is the first day of the week that I need to set an alarm, pack a lunch, or have to check my email.
Even those that don’t have the same commitments that I have to the office, probably have routines that change because it is Monday. It is a change from the rest of Sunday into a day when doctor’s offices are open, insurance agents and financial counselors will set appointments to meet with us, and the list goes on and on…..
What is it about the change and routine of life that we are to learn?
Routine is such a blessing to me as sometimes I just can’t take another minute of not knowing what to expect, but where I mess up is in getting caught up in the desire to control my situation. For me, it is in changing that I’ve learned the most. With that said, I’ve needed the routine of school and of life, to gain the confidence and wisdom to handle the change.
Interesting, how it is all connected.
Wow, I really love Monday’s.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Chaos
Most every Saturday I start my day before everyone wakes up. I open my Bible and begin to read scripture and pray that I live the words that I’m reading that day. I did wake up today before everyone else, but it started out of order. I began the day by reading an advertisement for home goods for sale. All the goods were very beautiful, and I found a bed spread that I just love. I hope to one day buy it for my house. I did then read scripture and pray, but continued to think about the bedspread and how beautiful it would be in my home. It seems my heart wasn’t into the scripture today.
Well that was the beginning of a chaotic day for me. I was angry with everything and everyone that I encountered today. I didn’t like how long things were taking the grocery store. I didn’t like how my schedule was unknown. I didn’t like how my pants fit. I didn’t like that I almost burned the onions in the pan. The list goes on and on.
Have you ever had a day that consumes you in a negative way? Well this was one of those for me. I couldn’t think of anyone or anything except what I wanted. I was completely out of sorts with no feeling of peace today. The laundry pile was higher than usual. The waiting was too long for everything. The store I wanted to go to today wasn’t open. Even the Coke ICEE that I wanted wasn’t to be found today.
What is wrong with me? I don’t know as of yet. I still need to pray about it to understand it. The irony was that the Scripture that I read this morning was all about how people don’t see the beauty of things that God created. How much I was like that today. I couldn’t see the beauty in my life. I couldn’t see the beauty of the tasks I wanted to accomplish. Wow, I just realized that I completely lived a day that was the opposite of how I could have lived it. What a waste. Did I forget to ask God that I live the scripture today? Maybe so. Actually, apparently so.
We must always ask for what it is that we need, and if it is in accordance with God’s will we will receive it in an obvious, or sometimes in a not so obvious, way. Forgive me Lord for not asking for Your will today in my life.
Chaos – It seems I created it.
Peace, Eileen
Well that was the beginning of a chaotic day for me. I was angry with everything and everyone that I encountered today. I didn’t like how long things were taking the grocery store. I didn’t like how my schedule was unknown. I didn’t like how my pants fit. I didn’t like that I almost burned the onions in the pan. The list goes on and on.
Have you ever had a day that consumes you in a negative way? Well this was one of those for me. I couldn’t think of anyone or anything except what I wanted. I was completely out of sorts with no feeling of peace today. The laundry pile was higher than usual. The waiting was too long for everything. The store I wanted to go to today wasn’t open. Even the Coke ICEE that I wanted wasn’t to be found today.
What is wrong with me? I don’t know as of yet. I still need to pray about it to understand it. The irony was that the Scripture that I read this morning was all about how people don’t see the beauty of things that God created. How much I was like that today. I couldn’t see the beauty in my life. I couldn’t see the beauty of the tasks I wanted to accomplish. Wow, I just realized that I completely lived a day that was the opposite of how I could have lived it. What a waste. Did I forget to ask God that I live the scripture today? Maybe so. Actually, apparently so.
We must always ask for what it is that we need, and if it is in accordance with God’s will we will receive it in an obvious, or sometimes in a not so obvious, way. Forgive me Lord for not asking for Your will today in my life.
Chaos – It seems I created it.
Peace, Eileen
Friday, August 28, 2009
Pizza
We just ordered pizza for dinner, and that means so many different things to me. It means on the most basic level that I don't want to cook dinner for the family tonight. It also means "The Weekend". It means I want life to be different. Things are more relaxed and the time commitments aren't hovering over our every choice. Also pizza is fun. You eat it with your hands and there are so many sweet and savory flavors mixed together.
Sweet and savory. That is what life isn't it? There are so many twists and turns. We all have so many ideas about what our life will be like when we grow up, but we are never really sure how it will turn out. That makes me think about Hurricane Katrina and finding my high school memory book in the aftermath of the storm at my mother's house. The book was wet and old. (How old? It was 28 years ago that I graduated from high school!) I opened it up and read what I had written as the goals that I wanted to achieve in my life, and wow what a rush of emotion filled me when I read the words.
I wrote that I wanted to be a business woman, and I meant that I wanted to work in corporate America. Somehow I knew that is where I belonged. I didn't really even know for sure what that really meant. I didn't have a clear example of that in my life, but I knew that is where I belonged. I took a business class in ninth grade, and I just loved it. I sat in the front row and soaked in every bit of information that was given just like my mind was a sponge. I started going to the library to read The Wall Street Journal. My family didn't even know that I was doing this. It takes my breathe away to even think how that goal emerged in my life. I didn't take the traditional route.
I started as a receptionist and administrative assistant at what is now one of the largest drilling companies in the world. I learned about business and how to interact with people. I then was filled with a hunger to learn more and to do more. I knew what was holding me back from doing more was the lack of a college degree. So with the blessing of my wonder husband, Jeff, I dove right into completing a degree in finance and later a master's degree in business administration. I now work for one of the largest corporations in the world and influence the decisions on major projects with values into the multi millions. How did that happen?
What influenced me was the sweetness of my mother constantly telling me that I can achieve whatever in life I wanted to achieve, and the savory part of my life that I created with the choices, right and wrong, that made me into the women that I have become.
Wow, pizza is good so sweet and savory.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Sweet and savory. That is what life isn't it? There are so many twists and turns. We all have so many ideas about what our life will be like when we grow up, but we are never really sure how it will turn out. That makes me think about Hurricane Katrina and finding my high school memory book in the aftermath of the storm at my mother's house. The book was wet and old. (How old? It was 28 years ago that I graduated from high school!) I opened it up and read what I had written as the goals that I wanted to achieve in my life, and wow what a rush of emotion filled me when I read the words.
I wrote that I wanted to be a business woman, and I meant that I wanted to work in corporate America. Somehow I knew that is where I belonged. I didn't really even know for sure what that really meant. I didn't have a clear example of that in my life, but I knew that is where I belonged. I took a business class in ninth grade, and I just loved it. I sat in the front row and soaked in every bit of information that was given just like my mind was a sponge. I started going to the library to read The Wall Street Journal. My family didn't even know that I was doing this. It takes my breathe away to even think how that goal emerged in my life. I didn't take the traditional route.
I started as a receptionist and administrative assistant at what is now one of the largest drilling companies in the world. I learned about business and how to interact with people. I then was filled with a hunger to learn more and to do more. I knew what was holding me back from doing more was the lack of a college degree. So with the blessing of my wonder husband, Jeff, I dove right into completing a degree in finance and later a master's degree in business administration. I now work for one of the largest corporations in the world and influence the decisions on major projects with values into the multi millions. How did that happen?
What influenced me was the sweetness of my mother constantly telling me that I can achieve whatever in life I wanted to achieve, and the savory part of my life that I created with the choices, right and wrong, that made me into the women that I have become.
Wow, pizza is good so sweet and savory.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Joy of Waiting
A wonderful day of waiting was before me today. I went to the women's imaging center today to have a screening to follow-up on my appointment for a breast lump.
During this time, I met the most wonderful women. The lady at the reception desk was so lovely and acted as if we knew each other for many years. She remembered details that we had discussed in 2007. What a joy to be remembered after such a casual encounter! The woman who performed the mammogram was also so cheerful and kind. We discussed our children and our lives and it was such an easy conversation.
I remember back not so many years ago that I would have never have had such conversation with someone in this setting. It would have been all about the task and not about the people that I've met along the way.
It didn't even matter that I had to wait 45 minutes to get into the room to get ready for the test and then another 20 minutes as the computer needed to re-boot. (Who hasn't been there with the computer re-boot a time or two?) It was peaceful and joyful to sit and be in the moment. I took the time to pray and to listen to others around me and to know that we are all connected in some way.
I did however let my weaknesses shine through as I returned to my "normal" day of being busy and wanting to get more "accomplished". My task list needed to be checked off and how would I do it all if I allowed myself to enjoy the company of so many kind women. I saw a little of myself in the radiologist that came to review my screening. She was in such a hurry. She had so much to accomplish, and didn't take the time to be in the moment. She only had on her mind the next room she had to be in to check another patient. It was clear it was not about the patient, but about the results or the test.
Lord, I pray that I leave behind the life of tasks and remain more in the life of people. Thank you for my day filled with the joy of waiting!
P.S. The test was fine and there is nothing to worry about. The lump is nothing except a bother. Peace and
joy to all.
Eileen
During this time, I met the most wonderful women. The lady at the reception desk was so lovely and acted as if we knew each other for many years. She remembered details that we had discussed in 2007. What a joy to be remembered after such a casual encounter! The woman who performed the mammogram was also so cheerful and kind. We discussed our children and our lives and it was such an easy conversation.
I remember back not so many years ago that I would have never have had such conversation with someone in this setting. It would have been all about the task and not about the people that I've met along the way.
It didn't even matter that I had to wait 45 minutes to get into the room to get ready for the test and then another 20 minutes as the computer needed to re-boot. (Who hasn't been there with the computer re-boot a time or two?) It was peaceful and joyful to sit and be in the moment. I took the time to pray and to listen to others around me and to know that we are all connected in some way.
I did however let my weaknesses shine through as I returned to my "normal" day of being busy and wanting to get more "accomplished". My task list needed to be checked off and how would I do it all if I allowed myself to enjoy the company of so many kind women. I saw a little of myself in the radiologist that came to review my screening. She was in such a hurry. She had so much to accomplish, and didn't take the time to be in the moment. She only had on her mind the next room she had to be in to check another patient. It was clear it was not about the patient, but about the results or the test.
Lord, I pray that I leave behind the life of tasks and remain more in the life of people. Thank you for my day filled with the joy of waiting!
P.S. The test was fine and there is nothing to worry about. The lump is nothing except a bother. Peace and
joy to all.
Eileen
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
What a day!
So many things run through my mind each day, I never know where to let my thoughts land. I am always thinking about the people I meet and all the things that are going through their minds. Is it that when you sit in a meeting that your thoughts influence other people's thoughts? Sometimes it seems we are all on the same page and others it's hardly like we even speak the same language.
Today was no exception. I engaged someone in a conversation in the office, but felt the person was totally disconnected from the conversation even though the words were spewing from her mouth. Had I interrupted her surfing the internet? Had I interrupted her typing an email about someone we both know? Well, she is in human resources for goodness sake. Had she totally been thinking about something that totally didn't have anything to do with me, and my presence interrupted that thought? Maybe she just had to go to the bathroom? Or maybe she just didn't want to talk to someone right that minute.
There are so many explanations. How many times do we perceive a situation as something that it is not and let that define our day or our life? Has someone ever said something to you that still emerges in your memory as painful? Maybe that person wasn't even talking about you when they made the comment or gesture that you so vividly remember. However, you have been carrying around the hurt of that situation.
What is inside of us that makes us live this way? Seems to me it is a desire to belong. What is belonging anyway? Truly it is acceptance of someone as they are, and if that is what belonging means, it seems we are all seeking it in some way or another.
What a day I've had learning to accept myself and all of the people I've met along the way. Let's belong together. Peace,
Eileen
Today was no exception. I engaged someone in a conversation in the office, but felt the person was totally disconnected from the conversation even though the words were spewing from her mouth. Had I interrupted her surfing the internet? Had I interrupted her typing an email about someone we both know? Well, she is in human resources for goodness sake. Had she totally been thinking about something that totally didn't have anything to do with me, and my presence interrupted that thought? Maybe she just had to go to the bathroom? Or maybe she just didn't want to talk to someone right that minute.
There are so many explanations. How many times do we perceive a situation as something that it is not and let that define our day or our life? Has someone ever said something to you that still emerges in your memory as painful? Maybe that person wasn't even talking about you when they made the comment or gesture that you so vividly remember. However, you have been carrying around the hurt of that situation.
What is inside of us that makes us live this way? Seems to me it is a desire to belong. What is belonging anyway? Truly it is acceptance of someone as they are, and if that is what belonging means, it seems we are all seeking it in some way or another.
What a day I've had learning to accept myself and all of the people I've met along the way. Let's belong together. Peace,
Eileen
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