I am so happy and excited about tomorrow and the opportunity to be with God and all of the women on the retreat that I can’t sleep. I know I need to sleep but I just can’t seem to wind down. Isn’t God’s gift of adrenaline a wonderful thing? He always gives me what I need when I need it.
Just now He gave me a break from my typing. It’s a little disturbing because I usually type my blog straight through in a few minutes, but I must have needed to stop and reflect. So now I think, what is it to reflect? I know what life is to me right now, don’t I? I probably don’t. I think I know what I need, but I don’t always get it right. I think right now that I need to pray. I need to thank God for the gift of my life and the gift of my husband, the gift of my children, the gift of my sorrows and the gift of my joys in life. I can never forget that it all comes from Him. All of it! It just matters what I do with it that makes it good or bad.
Why do I sometimes wallow in the things that make me uncomfortable? It doesn’t seem right even when I’m doing it. It seems that I need to move through it rather than stay in it. It mostly seems that I shouldn’t do it at all. My life is so much better when I accept the here and the now instead of dwelling on what’s gone already or what is to come later.
I mostly think I don’t need to be afraid of life, afraid of the things that will come into my life. I know have the sense of the scripture that the first will be last and the last will be first. Isn’t that the best understanding of how to live life and how to have hope? Hope isn’t in the recognition of life but in the acceptance of life.
I need to accept and acknowledge that I need God and that I need the ordinary things of life that are given to me by God. I need a hug, but mostly I need to give a hug. I need to be accepted, but mostly I need to accept others. I need to be listened to, but mostly I need to listen to others. I need to eat ice cream (really!), but mostly I need to thank God for the person that makes the ice cream that I so enjoy and to take it further than that and thank God for the people that bring the ingredients together, and for the people that raise the cows and the chickens that create the ingredients and for the people that decided to bring the ingredients together to create the ice cream, and the people that built the first freezer to change the ingredients to become something each ingredient was not on its own and to thank God for the opportunity to share my thoughts about ice cream and on an on.
Maybe one day I’ll write about something important, but for now I’m so glad to get these words on a page.
God is good all the time. Ice Cream is good all the time. Hope is good all the time.
Peace your sister in Christ and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Preparation
I am busy today getting ready for a women’s retreat for my parish. It is the first one that we are having for ACTS which stands for Adoration, Community, Theology and Service. I’ve been preparing for this weekend for almost three years now. I’ve been mentored by a group of women that have been giving these retreats for many years. It has been an awesome experience to know and learn from these women. It has been an awesome experience of growth for me to allow myself to change through the lives and experiences of these women. It has been a great time of preparation for this moment.
What makes preparation so wonderful is it allows me to change through the experience. It allows me to use the gifts that I already know that I have and the gifts that I learn about through my interaction with other people. I challenge myself in preparation, because I encounter people I haven’t experienced before as I plan for the events in my life. The planning is at its best for me when I don’t over plan, but when I allow the people around me to shine and take ownership of the gifts that they give to the world.
How do I tap into the gifts of the other people around me and into the best of the gifts that God has given me is the ultimate challenge of my life. I so many times hide behind the talents that are expected of me rather than the true gifts that God has given me. I sometimes look to other people to define those gifts rather than praying to understand the unique gifts that have been bestowed on me by God.
The gifts given to me are many and are as diverse as being good at finance and as being good at singing in the choir. Now I wonder what those gifts have in common. The most obvious is that both were given to me, but I think there is more to it than that simple connection. My next thought is that I needed the diversity of gifts to allow myself to be more human. If I am caught up mostly in math and not in art, I wouldn’t be complete. That is not to say that one can’t be better at one than the other, but I think if I wasn’t aware of the diversity of my gifts then I wouldn’t be the person I am meant to be.
Wow, preparation is awesome. It makes me tap into the not so obvious of my life. I’d forgotten some things about myself that only truly shine when I allow myself to prepare.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
What makes preparation so wonderful is it allows me to change through the experience. It allows me to use the gifts that I already know that I have and the gifts that I learn about through my interaction with other people. I challenge myself in preparation, because I encounter people I haven’t experienced before as I plan for the events in my life. The planning is at its best for me when I don’t over plan, but when I allow the people around me to shine and take ownership of the gifts that they give to the world.
How do I tap into the gifts of the other people around me and into the best of the gifts that God has given me is the ultimate challenge of my life. I so many times hide behind the talents that are expected of me rather than the true gifts that God has given me. I sometimes look to other people to define those gifts rather than praying to understand the unique gifts that have been bestowed on me by God.
The gifts given to me are many and are as diverse as being good at finance and as being good at singing in the choir. Now I wonder what those gifts have in common. The most obvious is that both were given to me, but I think there is more to it than that simple connection. My next thought is that I needed the diversity of gifts to allow myself to be more human. If I am caught up mostly in math and not in art, I wouldn’t be complete. That is not to say that one can’t be better at one than the other, but I think if I wasn’t aware of the diversity of my gifts then I wouldn’t be the person I am meant to be.
Wow, preparation is awesome. It makes me tap into the not so obvious of my life. I’d forgotten some things about myself that only truly shine when I allow myself to prepare.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Family
What are we but an extension of those that come before us and after us? Don’t they make us who we are and keep us connected to the world around us? I think of my parents when I think of my history. I have no history without my parents. I wouldn’t have come into existence had my parents not participated in the creation of me. What an awesome gift that is to me and hopefully to all those people that are connected to me.
The connection to people is so immense when you start to put a number around it. I think of how my life and the life of my husband have impacted our children and even our parents. Haven’t we through how we’ve lived and through how they have lived learned so many things? I think I have. It also grows through our connection to the world outside of our immediate families.
I think of how when I traveled to China on business that the impact of how I exist through my parents and how I am who I am through the influence of my children that I influenced those in the room in a meeting in an industrial town in the city of Shengli, China. We can’t disconnect from that experience. We always have the connection no matter how big or small. We can’t ignore it even when we don’t understand or acknowledge the connection. I am so overwhelmed with the sense of “We are one body, one body in Christ….” This is a fundamental truth of life.
This also reminds me of a time when someone made accusations of someone in my life that were not founded in the truth and how I was so angry, so very angry. I prayed and reflected on the actions of the individual and on my reaction of anger. God was so clear in his words to me that I had to apologize to the woman. God told me that He loved that woman so much, and that I needed to look beyond the recent action and see what He saw in the woman. Look at her as a woman of service and a woman that lives out her vocation of motherhood with great purpose and great honor. He asked me to understand the He forgives her for her wrong actions just like he forgives me for my wrong actions. Why can’t I see beyond the action to the soul of the woman and see His face in her face?
I prayed and asked for this and He granted the request. I was able to write her an apology note and ask her to forgive me for not honoring her as God honors her. We smiled and hugged and moved to the next moments in our life. We were connected forever in this moment, a moment that began because each of us is a creation from God that extends from the human experience.
How awesome is He in trusting us with such an enormous gift. I pray that we too respect and love those around us in our families and in our connections through our families just as God trust and loves us. I pray this whether our connections in life are the family that lives next door to us or the family that lives in Shengli, China.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
The connection to people is so immense when you start to put a number around it. I think of how my life and the life of my husband have impacted our children and even our parents. Haven’t we through how we’ve lived and through how they have lived learned so many things? I think I have. It also grows through our connection to the world outside of our immediate families.
I think of how when I traveled to China on business that the impact of how I exist through my parents and how I am who I am through the influence of my children that I influenced those in the room in a meeting in an industrial town in the city of Shengli, China. We can’t disconnect from that experience. We always have the connection no matter how big or small. We can’t ignore it even when we don’t understand or acknowledge the connection. I am so overwhelmed with the sense of “We are one body, one body in Christ….” This is a fundamental truth of life.
This also reminds me of a time when someone made accusations of someone in my life that were not founded in the truth and how I was so angry, so very angry. I prayed and reflected on the actions of the individual and on my reaction of anger. God was so clear in his words to me that I had to apologize to the woman. God told me that He loved that woman so much, and that I needed to look beyond the recent action and see what He saw in the woman. Look at her as a woman of service and a woman that lives out her vocation of motherhood with great purpose and great honor. He asked me to understand the He forgives her for her wrong actions just like he forgives me for my wrong actions. Why can’t I see beyond the action to the soul of the woman and see His face in her face?
I prayed and asked for this and He granted the request. I was able to write her an apology note and ask her to forgive me for not honoring her as God honors her. We smiled and hugged and moved to the next moments in our life. We were connected forever in this moment, a moment that began because each of us is a creation from God that extends from the human experience.
How awesome is He in trusting us with such an enormous gift. I pray that we too respect and love those around us in our families and in our connections through our families just as God trust and loves us. I pray this whether our connections in life are the family that lives next door to us or the family that lives in Shengli, China.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Friday, September 25, 2009
We Are One
Today I keep thinking about how I am who I am through my husband and how he is who he is through me. Can it be that I am more me because of someone else? Can it be that someone else if more because of me? That just blows my mind to think of it, but I know it to be true.
I think of all the times before I met my husband that I felt like I didn’t know what it was to be whole. I always felt that I was missing a piece of my self. It wasn’t that I didn’t have great life before. I have a great, loving mother and I grew up in a loving family that celebrated life together so often that I know what celebration means so deeply that it makes me smile to think about it.
I take those things in my life that are great and that are not so great and mesh them with the life that my husband brought into our marriage, and I see a great flower garden emerge. There are so many flowers in the garden that my breath is taken away when I walk up on the garden. There are sunflowers, roses, weeds, mulch and blank spots and on and on.
Wow that makes me wonder about what each of those things means to me. What is a sunflower? It is such a beautiful flower. It is bold and bright and commands our attention and knows just where to turn to get the light. It is so accomplished in its task that its name defines it task. It is to turn toward the light.
What is a rose? When I think of a rose I think of beauty but also of complexity and thorns. But roses are so very beautiful. One is never like the other. Each rose has a different amount of petals and thorns and a different sweetness that draws you in to the experience of the rose.
But to me the weeds are the most interesting. They seem to appear everywhere, but only overshadow the beauty of the flowers if you let them. I can control the weeds if I take the time to do it. I only need the desire to do the task for it to have purpose and the result that I need.
Only if I forget to weed the flowerbeds in my life does it get out of control. What are the weeds in my life? Is it that I continue to forget to pray? Is it that I forget to honor my husband and children for the great gift they are to me? Is that I forget to thank God for my parents? Even though I didn’t even really know my father shouldn’t I honor him because if he didn’t exist I would not!
Tomorrow I think I will share my thoughts on the great gift of our parents and the great gift of our children. I pray I don’t forget. Don’t let me. We are who we are through the people we let into our lives. Our husbands and wives, our children, our parents, the blank spots and the mulch and the list goes on and on….. Peace and I’ll talk to you again soon.
Love You, Eileen
I think of all the times before I met my husband that I felt like I didn’t know what it was to be whole. I always felt that I was missing a piece of my self. It wasn’t that I didn’t have great life before. I have a great, loving mother and I grew up in a loving family that celebrated life together so often that I know what celebration means so deeply that it makes me smile to think about it.
I take those things in my life that are great and that are not so great and mesh them with the life that my husband brought into our marriage, and I see a great flower garden emerge. There are so many flowers in the garden that my breath is taken away when I walk up on the garden. There are sunflowers, roses, weeds, mulch and blank spots and on and on.
Wow that makes me wonder about what each of those things means to me. What is a sunflower? It is such a beautiful flower. It is bold and bright and commands our attention and knows just where to turn to get the light. It is so accomplished in its task that its name defines it task. It is to turn toward the light.
What is a rose? When I think of a rose I think of beauty but also of complexity and thorns. But roses are so very beautiful. One is never like the other. Each rose has a different amount of petals and thorns and a different sweetness that draws you in to the experience of the rose.
But to me the weeds are the most interesting. They seem to appear everywhere, but only overshadow the beauty of the flowers if you let them. I can control the weeds if I take the time to do it. I only need the desire to do the task for it to have purpose and the result that I need.
Only if I forget to weed the flowerbeds in my life does it get out of control. What are the weeds in my life? Is it that I continue to forget to pray? Is it that I forget to honor my husband and children for the great gift they are to me? Is that I forget to thank God for my parents? Even though I didn’t even really know my father shouldn’t I honor him because if he didn’t exist I would not!
Tomorrow I think I will share my thoughts on the great gift of our parents and the great gift of our children. I pray I don’t forget. Don’t let me. We are who we are through the people we let into our lives. Our husbands and wives, our children, our parents, the blank spots and the mulch and the list goes on and on….. Peace and I’ll talk to you again soon.
Love You, Eileen
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Success
All day long I’ve been surrounded with the thought of success. I strive to get everything done that needs to get done. I worry that I’m not doing it good enough or fast enough. I worry that I’ve not considered all the options so as to make sure no problems arise out of the decisions I’ve made today.
But now as I sit here I wonder what the real meaning of success is. Those thoughts all seem so small. Is it really that all the options have been considered or all the tasks been checked off of the list? Well today it seemed to me that it was as I encountered the day I had before me.
The concern is there that if I do more things; finish more tasks, that it will all be alright. I will have completed what needed to be done and then I will be able to get the gold star on my paper like I did in elementary school. It was so simple then. If I spelled all the words right, I received a 100. Isn’t that what I’m still striving for in my day to day? I want to get that 100 again, but it is not possible in my adult world. There is always something more to do, someone else to help, something that I think I need to finish.
I seem to be missing the point. It’s the journey not the task that gets the 100. How did I treat myself today? How did I treat the person working the cash register at Kroger today? My children? My husband? My co-worker?
It doesn’t matter how much recognition I get for the tasks I’ve accomplished, but how much recognition I give to those that I encounter while I complete my tasks. I don’t mean to say the tasks aren’t important, because they are important. I need the tasks to give me work to do so that I have purpose. God wants me to have commitments and responsibilities. He wants me to have these so that I can encounter people so that I can treat them like He treats me.
Success! It is so simple, why do I make it seem so difficult.
God is good and patient.
I pray that I am those things to all of you.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
But now as I sit here I wonder what the real meaning of success is. Those thoughts all seem so small. Is it really that all the options have been considered or all the tasks been checked off of the list? Well today it seemed to me that it was as I encountered the day I had before me.
The concern is there that if I do more things; finish more tasks, that it will all be alright. I will have completed what needed to be done and then I will be able to get the gold star on my paper like I did in elementary school. It was so simple then. If I spelled all the words right, I received a 100. Isn’t that what I’m still striving for in my day to day? I want to get that 100 again, but it is not possible in my adult world. There is always something more to do, someone else to help, something that I think I need to finish.
I seem to be missing the point. It’s the journey not the task that gets the 100. How did I treat myself today? How did I treat the person working the cash register at Kroger today? My children? My husband? My co-worker?
It doesn’t matter how much recognition I get for the tasks I’ve accomplished, but how much recognition I give to those that I encounter while I complete my tasks. I don’t mean to say the tasks aren’t important, because they are important. I need the tasks to give me work to do so that I have purpose. God wants me to have commitments and responsibilities. He wants me to have these so that I can encounter people so that I can treat them like He treats me.
Success! It is so simple, why do I make it seem so difficult.
God is good and patient.
I pray that I am those things to all of you.
Peace and talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Wonderful
I am sitting here thinking about today, and the only thing that comes to mind is wonderful. It is so wonderful that I had to make decisions, so wonderful that I had to sit in traffic, so wonderful that I had to cook dinner. Wait a minute!!! Did I really say all of that in my head?
Well I did, because I am eternally grateful for every day that I’ve lived on this earth. I’ve forgotten it so many times. I’ve been so caught up in all the “things” that have happened to me. So many times I’ve been caught up in how this world has treated me, rather than how I’ve treated this world. I continually try to consider others when I make decisions, but seem to always be centered on what it is that will make me most comfortable in my day or even in my minute.
This is all so confusing to me, when I really sit back and think about what things in life have meant the most to me and rarely were they easy. The things that we like huge mountains or great hardships are what have really centered and moved me to a better place in my life.
I see this when I see a performer on the stage or a doctor in her office. These things took great sacrifice and great commitment. The performer, the doctor, the musician, the priest, the president, the CEO, the nun, the librarian, trash collector and on and on didn’t get to be good at what they do without considering other people, without sacrifice and commitment, or without love for the work that we do each and every day. I do things I don’t want to do, because they need to get done.
Don’t you? Didn’t God? I see that in Jesus’ life. He gave so much to us through the things he didn’t want to do. He asked his Father to take this cup from Him, but He endured it. He endured the wonderful life giving sacrifice so that I could be here to experience this day as a daughter, wife, mother and friend.
Oh what a wonderful day I’ve had.
Talk to you again soon.
Eileen
Well I did, because I am eternally grateful for every day that I’ve lived on this earth. I’ve forgotten it so many times. I’ve been so caught up in all the “things” that have happened to me. So many times I’ve been caught up in how this world has treated me, rather than how I’ve treated this world. I continually try to consider others when I make decisions, but seem to always be centered on what it is that will make me most comfortable in my day or even in my minute.
This is all so confusing to me, when I really sit back and think about what things in life have meant the most to me and rarely were they easy. The things that we like huge mountains or great hardships are what have really centered and moved me to a better place in my life.
I see this when I see a performer on the stage or a doctor in her office. These things took great sacrifice and great commitment. The performer, the doctor, the musician, the priest, the president, the CEO, the nun, the librarian, trash collector and on and on didn’t get to be good at what they do without considering other people, without sacrifice and commitment, or without love for the work that we do each and every day. I do things I don’t want to do, because they need to get done.
Don’t you? Didn’t God? I see that in Jesus’ life. He gave so much to us through the things he didn’t want to do. He asked his Father to take this cup from Him, but He endured it. He endured the wonderful life giving sacrifice so that I could be here to experience this day as a daughter, wife, mother and friend.
Oh what a wonderful day I’ve had.
Talk to you again soon.
Eileen
Monday, September 21, 2009
Marriage
I’ve had the great privilege of being married to my husband, Jeff Borski, for 22 years. I’ll be honest I didn’t even know what I was looking for in a husband when we met. I really just thought he was cute. But God knew what I was looking for, and He delivered a winner to me. Thank you God for the beautiful gift of my marriage.
Marriage to me has been a journey in acceptance, love, trust, forgiveness and holiness. Oh we have arguments and disagreements, but through these we’ve learned to be better people. Isn’t it that God shows me how to accept people each and every day by His acceptance of me each and every day? So in accepting the twists and turns of our marriage, I’ve grown in holiness. Although I still have lots of growing to do!
I like to think of our marriage as a roller coaster. The first time you ride one and you go up, up, up, your emotions are heightened and you are so filled with the unknown it seems like the climb takes forever and then the drop comes. And oh how that drop feels. It seems to take an eternity also. Will this sinking feeling ever end? Will we ever be on the up cycle again? Well, then before you know it you are going up again, but this time you know what to expect on the other side. The down cycle allowed us to hold each other closer as we sit next to each other on the ride.
This is the same in our marriage. As we go through a struggle, we’ve learned to lean in and hold on to each other tighter and with the knowledge that we can get through this one. We’ve done it before. It wasn’t so bad. We actually learned a lot through it, and our love is stronger. We know we can make it through another one.
Wow, the ride is over for now. We can get off the ride and just stroll through the park enjoying the life that is around us. These are the times when God gives us the chance to rest and to develop a relationship with Him not out of fear, but out of love. These are the times when we can hear His voice, His holy whispers, to us that guide us on the path to fulfill His will in our marriage.
Oh, but we usually go back to the amusement park again next summer. When will we learn? Clearly, there is always something we can learn through a struggle, but it is how we handle that struggle that has changed for us over the years. We’ve started to not worry so much about the small things. We know now that this too shall pass, and we will be better people because we held on tight to each other through it and allowed God to hold us up and guide us. We know we don’t have to do it alone.
What an awesome gift marriage is to me. Thank you God for reminding me that it is the vocation that makes me who I am, and that makes me able to grow more and more towards You each day.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Marriage to me has been a journey in acceptance, love, trust, forgiveness and holiness. Oh we have arguments and disagreements, but through these we’ve learned to be better people. Isn’t it that God shows me how to accept people each and every day by His acceptance of me each and every day? So in accepting the twists and turns of our marriage, I’ve grown in holiness. Although I still have lots of growing to do!
I like to think of our marriage as a roller coaster. The first time you ride one and you go up, up, up, your emotions are heightened and you are so filled with the unknown it seems like the climb takes forever and then the drop comes. And oh how that drop feels. It seems to take an eternity also. Will this sinking feeling ever end? Will we ever be on the up cycle again? Well, then before you know it you are going up again, but this time you know what to expect on the other side. The down cycle allowed us to hold each other closer as we sit next to each other on the ride.
This is the same in our marriage. As we go through a struggle, we’ve learned to lean in and hold on to each other tighter and with the knowledge that we can get through this one. We’ve done it before. It wasn’t so bad. We actually learned a lot through it, and our love is stronger. We know we can make it through another one.
Wow, the ride is over for now. We can get off the ride and just stroll through the park enjoying the life that is around us. These are the times when God gives us the chance to rest and to develop a relationship with Him not out of fear, but out of love. These are the times when we can hear His voice, His holy whispers, to us that guide us on the path to fulfill His will in our marriage.
Oh, but we usually go back to the amusement park again next summer. When will we learn? Clearly, there is always something we can learn through a struggle, but it is how we handle that struggle that has changed for us over the years. We’ve started to not worry so much about the small things. We know now that this too shall pass, and we will be better people because we held on tight to each other through it and allowed God to hold us up and guide us. We know we don’t have to do it alone.
What an awesome gift marriage is to me. Thank you God for reminding me that it is the vocation that makes me who I am, and that makes me able to grow more and more towards You each day.
Talk to you again soon,
Eileen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
