Winning

Oh how good it feels to win a race, to be the one that finishes an exam first, or be the most recently promoted at work. I always seem to want that next rung on the ladder. I want to always be moving forward in what it means to be a winner. I wonder why I am that way.


I won’t gain a better life through winning. I’m still a good person even if I lose, but I am better person through my connection to the people in the race. I learn something in winning and in losing. However, I am still always trying to win the next thing.

This also leads me to think about what it really means to win. Isn’t winning about separating yourself from the others in the race? But I keep thinking that the race has no value if there aren’t any people to race against. It now seems to me that I am only a winner of a race if I am connected to the people that lost the race rather than being truly separated from them. So maybe the real winners are the ones that sacrifice for the one that leads the pack.

Sometimes I am gifted by God to be the one pulling the others through the race, and sometimes I am gifted by God to be the one pushing the winner to the victory. This last statement is most obvious to me in my role as a mother. How many times I pushed my children to achieve some task that I know will help them make better decisions later in life and ultimately better people. I pray that I’ve not pushed them to achieve things that don’t have that as the end result.

My thought now is that I want my children to achieve the next rung of their life, most especially their spiritual journey. But isn’t everything connected their, to my, spiritual journey? That seems to be the reason I want to always be moving forward, pushing others forward, and the things in life that are considered accomplishments are just a proxy or practice for the thing that I should really be trying to achieve - Holiness.

Peace and talk to you again soon,

Eileen